What is the difference between a faen and a gik?
Faen: the official partner
The Thai term “faen” refers to an official romantic relationship. It is the equivalent of a boyfriend or girlfriend recognized by family and friends, and often publicly displayed (especially on social networks).
To be faen is to be in a serious, stable and generally exclusive relationship.
In summary, a faen:
- is introduced to the family
- appears in social posts
- Sharing of couple’s projects
- has a clear and assumed status
Gik: The Secondary or Secret Relationship
The word “gik” refers to a parallel relationship, usually unofficial. A gik can be a flirt, a friend with benefits, or a person with whom you have a bond without a clear commitment.
This type of relationship is often kept secret, and it is not uncommon for a gik to be unaware of the faen’s existence, and vice versa. This practice, although informal, is widespread among certain social strata or among young Thais.
A gik is often:
- A discreet or secret relationship
- without official status
- Non-exclusive
- One “option” among others
Can you have a faen and a gik at the same time?
In Thailand, this happens often, even if it is not always well regarded. Some people have a stable relationship with a faen while having one or more gik on the side. Sometimes everyone knows about it, sometimes it doesn’t.
This relational model is tolerated in certain social situations, particularly among students or in urban areas.
How do you know if you’re faen or gik?
You are probably a faen if:
- You met his family
- you appear on his networks
- You have common projects
- The relationship is public
You may be a gik if:
- The meetings are secret
- you are not introduced to your loved ones
- he/she disappears on some weekends
- He/she contacts you especially late or at the last minute
Why does this system exist in Thailand?
- Avoid conflict : Thai culture values non-confrontation.
- Relational freedom : especially among young people or in large cities.
- Emotional or material security : keep several options “just in case”.
Is it a risk for foreigners?
Yes, if you don’t understand the codes. Many tourists or expats think they are in an official relationship when they are “just a gik”.
Clearly asking “Am I your faen or your gik?” is a good way to clarify the situation.
Conclusion
The difference between faen and gik is much more than a matter of vocabulary. It reflects the flexibility of romantic relationships in Thailand.
- The faen is the official, recognized, committed partner.
- The gik is a parallel, lighter and often discreet relationship.
Understanding this nuance helps to avoid misunderstandings and better adapt to Thai culture.
If you want a clear and stable relationship, it’s best to ask the right questions from the beginning.
